Wednesday, 3 February 2016

Script to Screen:OGR Part 2


  1. Hey Sam - I wait for your script to go up - let me know when it does.

  2. OGR 05/02/2016

    Hey Sam,

    Thanks for sorting your script for me. The idea of the cosmetic surgeon serving up these disgusting smoothies is nasty, but I'm not quite sure how/where the drinks fit into the cosmetic surgery context? Is it that the smoothies are a health supplement for visitors to the surgery? If so, I think there's a way to make your story a bit more horrible, and it's about your structure.

    If your story starts by establishing the cosmetic surgeon and the surgery as a 'happy' and healthy space, you set things up for a more shocking ending. So, you show the cosmetic surgery with happy patients in it, and the surgeon looking all respectable etc. The patients are all leaving the surgery with a complimentary bottle of health drink. All is well.

    Then, you show that, in the back room, after hours, the surgeon is hacking up bodies and adding their body-parts to his secret collection. It does seem to me that you need to give more of a motivation to his behaviour; most cosmetic surgeons are obsessed with perfection, so perhaps the body parts he's collecting are those that are the 'most perfect' - so he's perhaps thinking about creating 'the perfect specimen'... anyway, he needs to dispose of the rest of the bodies, which he does by putting them into his big industrial food blender; he adds some herbs etc...

    Suddenly, with a gulp of horror, your audience realises that all those health drinks the patients were going home with were the juiced remains of the surgeon's victims...

    Now - to be really blunt - Sam, you need to look at the quality of your design work - and you need to do much more actual visual research before you design anything. Your 'insect/surgeon' is a bit odd; while looking at the characteristics of bugs to help you design a creepy-looking surgeon is a solid design idea, you've created a hybrid that's neither one thing or the other. Anyway, it's probably makes more sense, if you want to surprise the audience, to ensure that your surgeon looks very respectable.

    In terms of designing the environment etc, you really need to look at much more actual reference of actual real world spaces to help you visualise distinctive environments. This whole project is an exercise in imagination, and then finding the best way to get what you've imagined onto the screen for other people to understand. I'd like to see you a) enjoying the process more by producing more work and having more versions of your various ideas, and b) working with some different drawing tools, because I don't think your current method is helping you produce bold and distinctive drawings: try using the tools in Sketch Book Pro, for example, which are simpler than Photoshop; try using Illustrator, and the tools in that programme, which again, allow you to work up bold shapes and clean lines etc.

    So - just consider the logic of your story and how it might effect your character design (and the storyboarding) and re-consider the tools you're using by which to visualise your ideas.